week 2- vacation

I was supposed to have posted this a week ago..had typed it out..but my server failed me..so couldnt send it..anyways..here goes.....


I am back at my in-laws’ place after a quick visiting spree. Somehow this vacation is not as enjoyable as the last one. Maybe I have gotten so used to being married that I feel slightly handicapped going places alone. That definitely is a dangerous trend. I really do value my independence even though I enjoy being married. Maybe we should take short breaks like this occasionally. I was hoping to be as carefree and travel around without a worry as I did during my single days, this being the first time we are apart after 2 years of marriage, but somehow I cannot recapture the zest of those days. Maybe I am really getting old. No way!!!! Me??? Old???? Not for another 30 years atleast.

I don’t even feel old enough to take that big step into mother hood. I am as yet unsure if I am mature enough to handle that responsibility. Talking of mother hood…there is one thing that irritates me greatly nowadays….why in heavens name can’t a couple get married and be blissfully happy with each other for some time and take their own time to expand their family? Why is it suddenly everybody’s business that we are childless? Nobody believes that it is by choice that we have delayed promoting ourselves to ‘parents’. There are a surprisingly large number of people who can’t imagine any other reason for marriage other than making babies. It really is frustrating when you have well meaning relatives and friends whispering useful addresses of gynaecologists in your ears. My grandmother even concocted some ayurvedic cure for the ‘problem’ that I may have. I am really ashamed to say that I was very harsh with her, as I was with many of my well meaning relatives.

For me marriage is all about companionship and sharing. A spouse is a best friend for life, someone who is aware of your innermost feelings, fears and joys, ambitions and quirks and who loves you inspite of all that. Babies may or may not be part of this state called marriage. For us, hopefully the babies will be a part of it, but when we are ready, not a moment before that. We are still discovering each other and enjoying our life together. Parenthood, in my opinion, is a big responsibility, and we should be totally ready for it when it comes. Whenever I think of it, I break into a sweat. I am sure I will be a lousy mother. Naveen is good with kids, he will make a great dad, but me…….both of us have doubts regarding that. Well then, obviously I am not ready for it…till then all those nosy parkers out there…stay away from me.

I went to Irakkavu a couple of days ago. It isn’t the ‘heaven on earth’ of my imagination any more. The children are all grown up, it just struck me how much the children of a place influence the character of the place. Every bit of the village is physically exactly as it was 15-20 years ago. But the people are all so different. My earliest memories of Irakkavu is playing with my young aunts and uncles. My mother was the eldest cousin to all of them and consequently I was the only baby around. I was treated like a princess especially since we used to be there only during the months of July and August. All of these aunts and uncles were all still in school at the time and I had a lot of fun with them. Sad to say they are all adults now with lots of responsibilities weighing their heads down and some of them even broken down with the blows life deals out. Till a few years ago, I still had the same kind of fun as I had all those years ago. From being the little niece to many uncles and aunts I became the big sister to all their children. But this vacation, I find all of those children almost adults. The youngest one is just a year or so short of teenage. I guess if they grow up right in front of you, you never realise that they are growing up. But when you are just a yearly visitor like I am, the marked differences strike a blow. Where did all the time go? In a couple of months’ time, I would have completed 28 years on this earth and what have I to show for it other than a large body? Oh well…life’s like that, and what the heck…I am still only 28, have a lifetime ahead of me to see the world and do all those things I want to do.

Rambler's back

Well, I guess I have proved beyond doubt that I am a lazy bum..2 entries and then a long silence…ofcourse I am just assuming that I have a large set of readers…talk about wishful thinking…

The main purpose of this blog was and hopefully still is, a journal..a record of my day to day life..especially since I am in India right now for vacation..I thought it would make interesting reading, if not for others, atleast to myself, later when I am back into the monotony of routine work life..I don’t know if anyone has tried this, but reading old letters and correspondence is really interesting and brings back a lot of memories…Six years ago, when I was in Ahmedabad to undergo my architectural internship, when I was bitten by the letter bug…I wrote countless number of letters to my friends, all doing training in different parts of India..ofcourse that was before I was infected with the ‘networm. Some of my friends are hoarders, Padma being the main one among them. She probably has letters dating from primary school…well anyway the point is that during our final year in college, I came across a couple of my letters to her during our training period..well that was a novel experience going through them, because each of them explained in detail a week or so of my time in Ahmedabad, things that I had long forgotten…well if 2 years can make so much of a difference what would 10, maybe 15, 20, I daren’t think of longer, years do?? Sad to say though, I never keep any letters, I get into this spring cleaning mood occasionally and I throw out all letters, bills etc..my purse is the only place that I fail to tidy up and empty off old stuff…reading this one would think that I am a neat freak, I am not, in fact, I am just the opposite. The point is that I wouldn’t have had to get into this spring cleaning mode if I was a basically neat person to start with, I have an almost irritating habit of misplacing and displacing things, and well the legendary laziness does pop up occasionally and that too most of the time right in the middle of a cleaning spree..

Do you think I keep jumping off topics at a tangent…from one topic to the other at random?? Well then….why do you think this is called my ramblings and scramblings???

Next post onwards I hope to give a more detailed account of my vacation...as a starter I would like to inform everyone that my brother in law, Praveen Mangalath gave up his single status as of yesterday...theres a new addition in the family...she is Sajila, a journalist based in Dubai, a very sweet gal...and hopefully a chance for me to move slightly out of focus in the eyes of neighbours and friends of the family.....

My self introduction

Hi everyone...I forgot the most basic thing when starting to blog...I forgot to introduce myself...ok..here goes...my name is Rashmi...Rashmi Raghavan...some people would insist that I be called Rashmi Naveen owing to the fact that I got married to Naveen 2 years ago...but no. I am still Rashmi Raghavan and I intend to remain the same till the day I die. I may have considered changing my name had he changed his name from Naveen Mangalath to Naveen Rashmi...I say I may have considered, but in all honesty I can confess I wouldn't have done it even then...I like my name...everyone knows me as Rashmi Raghavan..and I have never been able to understand why anyone would want to change a name they have carried around for more than a quarter of a century...does that mean that the life you had before your wedding day ceases to exist from this day forth. I feel our ancestors were very wise...They never changed their names, be it male or female...my grandmother, to this day carries her family name proudly, even after some 55 years of marriage, inspite of having no roots left in that branch of the family...its a pity that the matriarchal lineage that Kerala families follow is slowly becoming obsolete, it was and still is a unique system and probably invented centuries ago with reverence to the importance of the feminine...oh no..I did it again....a whole paragraph just to tell my name...

Ok to continue with my intro,...I was born and brought up in Bahrain...a tiny island in the Arabian Gulf..but my roots and my patriotism lies in a tiny place called Irakkavu in Pullad, Thiruvalla in Kerala, India...oops..long address...that's where my mother was born and brought up and where my family has roots centuries old...its what my husband would call a godforsaken place cut off from the rest of the world...and sure it is...mobile phones don't have range there, the T.V. cable is down most of the time, very frequent electricity power failures, and the worst thing...no public transport, either you have your own vehicle or you walk half an hour to catch a bus or find an autorikshaw...but I still love the place..it has an old world charm..lots of greenery, no polluting vehicles, grazing cows in the field, gossiping people with lots of time on their hands and these are people with 50 to 60 years of shared history among them...I still feel amazed at that...some of them have never left that tiny place in their entire lives...I know for a fact that I couldn't have lived like that on a permanent basis..as a visitor or as someone viewing it from the outside, life in Irakkavu is straight out of a story book, sublime and lovely...

Ok at this rate I am not going to finish my intro...so I am going to finish the rest of it in the next couple of lines...I am 27 years old, an architect by profession, have been married for 2 years, to another architect...we both work here for different consultancies, we have a nice little apartment here in Bahrain..oh maybe I should post some pictures of my home..come to think of it, maybe I should post a lot of pictures of my life..well..later..that requires a little more effort than just typing away to glory when I am supposed to be working...that reminds me..I have to get back to work..don't you think I have wasted enough company time for today...did I finish introducing myself?? Oh that's enough....there really is nothing else about boring old me..

so my blogs are going to be just insights into my less than colourful life....

My baby step into blogging

Ok..now I have started blogging too...for many months now, I have been thinking about doing tht..but as those who know me well know..I think and philosophise( did I spell that right?) a lot, but rarely if ever get around to doing anything...my laziness is almost a legend in the family..my mother claims that I was born a week later than the doctor's calculated due date because I was just too lazy to take the effort to push my way out of the safety of her body. She's also known to have said that I was the only baby she has known in her life who could sleep through a bath. Enough of the my lazy trait..lets get on with things..

So, here I am...yippee I am blogging too, but why would I blog?? Is there anything in my life which would interest anyone else?? But I really enjoy reading other people's blogs..so even if others may not get the same joy reading my blogs let me atleast enjoy writing them...just a vent to my emotions...I am at a stage in life where I can actually feel what little positivity (is there a word like that?) I had in my outlook draining away...careerwise I am on a tiny deserted island surrounded by the sea on all sides...nothings happening...and I am getting tired of the waiting..i should have done my PG when I had the chance...as an architect, my life is wasted here..not that I was a great architect to begin with..but I had so many dreams and aspirations..where did they all go..sad part is..i dont even remember some of them..could that happen??all my best friends scattered in different parts of the world..some of them as frustrated as I am with their careers...some of them managed to break even..and some actually happy with what they are doing...i used to enjoy what i do too...i loved%